Sex Ed
by IceQueenRex
Summary: Mad Mod's got a test for every teenage villain and hero there is so when Raven is paired up with Red X to complete a test with ridiculously absurd questions about sex ed, how is she to stay sane?


Sex-Ed

"How exactly did we end up in here?" Came Raven's annoyed voice throughout the white room. In fact, it was such a stark white that the girl almost felt as if she were being placed in a mental institute in search of – what the movies often said – closure.

Amethyst orbs then turned towards the masked boy next to her. "More importantly, why are _you_ here with me?" The Titans had been at the pizzeria when Raven was suddenly transported here.

The boy just snorted from his place on the ground his eyes from behind his mask though Raven was pretty sure of what he was doing. "No idea Babe. Why, would you have been happier if you'd been stuck with – let's say – Mammoth instead?"

_Good point_. She thought dryly, folding her arms and leaning against the wall. She supposed that being stuck here with Red-X wouldn't be that bad, as long as he didn't end up trying to steal her belt or try beating her up.

"So Chikadee, any idea what we're doing here?" He asked, leaning his back against the wall, his hands behind his head.

As if on cue, a large picture of Mad Mod appeared on the white wall opposite them and Raven had to suppress a groan at seeing his annoying anglophilic grin. Next to her, Red-X raised a brow and murmured to her,

"We were captured by this dude?"

"Well aren't you the smart one little X?" said the annoying red head, his glasses twinkling. " I've just set a little examination for all of your friends little birdy. Naughty children have to take their exams if they're to pass and finish their education."

"Where are the others?" Raven asked darkly, clenching her fists and looking up at the huge face on the wall.

The catty grin she received just made her glare darken. "Oh don't you worry about your friends, they'll be alright as long as they pass their tests. Naturally I couldn't have you lot together so they're each paired with a bunch of your friends X."

The boy just sighed and stated smoothly, "I don't have any friends."

Raven almost smirked as she muttered, "Why am I not surprised?"

The boy grinned and stood against the wall, one leg propped up as he glanced sideways at the violet haired girl. "Care to change that Chikadee?"

She scoffed and turned away from him. "In your dreams."

"How convenient; I like beds too."

Mad Mod, who'd been watching the two communicate while trying to get a word in began to get a little agitated and he cleared his throat loudly and said in a clear voice, "No relationships in the classroom kiddies and since you're already so comfortable with each other I'm sure you won't mind filling in a test together."

With a strangely awkward movement of his cane, a thick booklet of sheets appeared in front of them and landed gently in Raven's open hand. Scrutinising the booklet in front of her, she raised a dark brow and asked, "And this is…?"

"Why it's your test dearest. And the two of you have an hour to finish it." The man grinned darkly and bent closer towards the screen. "If you don't finish it in time, you're going to be here for quite a while."

And with that, he vanished leaving behind two very un-amused teens behind. "If he wasn't three miles away right now, I'd take that stick of his and shove it up his a-"

"I think we know where the rest of it goes X." Raven said coolly, using the booklet to fan herself. She glared at him though when he grabbed the sheets out of her hand and paused at the title.

Even through his mask, the girl could make out the raised brow and the slightly agape mouth. "I take it it's not anything you're familiar with?"

The 'o' shape of his lips quirked into a smirk and he drawled, "On the contrary, look for yourself."

The girl leaned over and glanced at the cover, nearly doing a double take as her eyes widened. "Sex-ed? What do we need to learn sex-ed for?"

The masked boy tapped a finger to his chin and considered the question. "Maybe he wants to make some porn movie with the two of us." He said blandly but their was no hiding the laughter in his voice.

Violet eyes merely glared at him as a response that clearly said 'that's not funny.' Raven turned back towards the booklet in his hands and grabbed it. Opening to the first page, she raised a brow. "What's the first step when a man and a woman date? How can you tell when he's not interested? What is this? It sounds more like the Q&A in some middle-aged woman's magazine."

Next to her, Red-X snorted in laughter but stood up straight and nonchalant when she turned her angry gaze to him. Groaning and rolling her eyes, she slumped down on the ground and muttered agitatedly, "Mad Mod has issues."

"Aw, relax babe; we've only got about…fifty five minutes left until we need to hand in the paper. No pressure." He sat down and picked up a pencil that had somehow appeared next to him and took the paper from her hands.

Had Raven not been in a very unusual and oddly strange state of mind, she would have wondered wildly to herself why she was here with one of her enemies sitting down in a white rehab room doing an extremely perverted exam for an old and shrivelled villain.

Seeing as she was in a very unusual and oddly strange state of mind, she couldn't really wonder what she was doing. The incredulity of it all was just too much at the moment and she half wished she was dreaming.

Her trail of though abruptly ceased when she felt an incessant nudging in her ribs. Turning in irritation to the thief, she asked, "What?"

He brought the booklet in his lap closer and showed it to her. "What's the quickest way to a man's heart?" he asked in boredom.

Caught off guard at the question, Raven had to think a while before finally realising that it was one of the questions in the test. Throwing him a 'are you serious' glance, she shook her head. "I don't know."

"C'mon Babe, you're a girl."

"Last time I checked I think I was."

"Well whaddya know, you just answered the next question." She frowned at the suggestiveness in his tone and looked down at the paper. The girl almost turned bright red as she read the question.

'Do girls often look at themselves either in the mirror or when they are void of clothes?'

Her face twisted in disgust. "Oh that is _so_ wrong." She shuddered with distaste and turned to her – for lack of a better word – companion. "You're actually enjoying this aren't you?"

He breathed a laugh. "It serves better than having to _buy_ a new pencil."

"So everything you have you've stolen?"

He considered her for a moment before saying, "No. Only the things that are worth stealing. Oh by the way, what kind of perfume do women wear on a first date?"

He acted like such a child at that moment that Raven almost found him slightly endearing. But she shook her head and sighed. "Try fruity."

He glanced at her then. "Really?"

"For some reason, women have the idea that if they smell of food, the guy's going to be more than happy to take them home. I don't really understand that theory though." She said dryly.

"And if she smells of something like turkey?" He asked rhetorically.

She shrugged. "Maybe that makes her all the more appealing for him to take a chunk out of her?"

The boy erupted with laughter. "What?" he managed out through breaths. The girl raised a dark brow at his attitude and rolled her eyes.

"It's called sarcasm. I would've thought you'd be used to it."

"Naturally." He said smoothly, filling in more answers non-commitedly. He sighed and handed the girl the booklet earning him a confused look. "It's called sharing Chikadee though I see you're not used to that much."

She scoffed and began jotting down answers that came up right off the top of her head. _How does a man politely say no?_ She looked blandly down at the question. _He opens his mouth?_ It seemed correct enough so she scribbled it down.

She continued answering more and more until it was fifteen minutes until the end of their test. There were still a few unanswered questions so she sat there pondering over them. It didn't take her long to realise just how ridiculous this paper was, from the questions and answers to the idiotic Anglophobe who gave it to them.

On one of the last questions however, she had to pause and frown in thought. _What is a libido?__I don't know, you tell me!_ She turned to Red-X and asked promptly,

"What's a libido?"

His head made a swift and seemingly painful turn to her, his eyes wide behind the mask. She could feel blush rising on his cheeks and looked at him quizzically.

"Er…ahem. Wha – what was that you said?" He said unsteadily, his voice cracking slightly.

"It's one of the questions. A libido. I don't know what it is."

She sensed the discomfort coming from the boy and for a moment felt humour rising through her. She looked on at his struggle in amusement and handed him the paper. "Perhaps you'd rather write it down yourself."

He nodded furiously and scribbled down the answer. "Er…yeah. That would be best." He handed it back to her and she placed it between them. They were finally on the last question though her thoughts were still on the stammering Red-X and how that was strange for the boy to be caught off hand. He usually had a reply as quickly as it took for Raven to finish a book.

Finally they were on their last question. Both of them froze on the spot. 'What do men and women have to have before they come together as one?' _What the hell does that mean?_ The two thought as they re-read the question.

"Protection?" came Raven's wry response.

"I'm thinking chemistry." He snorted.

"Are you sure?"

"It could be Viagra…"

"…Only you would think of that."

"How about whipped cream?"

"Next you'll say handcuffs." She said blandly.

"Not a bad idea." He wiggled his brows and Raven, having sensed it, rolled her eyes.

"And then I say 'would that be whipped cream with a whip?' I think not."

"Hm, true. You're more of a chainer."

"What's a chainer?"

An amused smirk appeared on his lips behind the mask and he gazed with slight humour at the girl he never would have thought to be so innocent. Maybe she wasn't all that mature as people made her out to be.

"You probably don't want to know."

She was about to answer when she glanced at his watch and noticed that they only had a minute left. "You're right. I don't. So hurry up and write down your answer."

"Excuse me? How am I supposed to know the answer?" He asked, folding his arms.

"Because

"Excuse me? How am I supposed to know the answer?" He asked, folding his arms.

"Because _you_ know about this sort of stuff." She retorted.

"That's true." He confessed, tapping a finger on his chin again and scribbling on the paper quickly.

"So what did you put?" Raven asked with indifference.

"Sex toys." He said simply, causing the girl to raise both brows.

"What? You can't put that."

"Says who?"

_Says anyone who's remotely sane!_ Her mind screamed angrily but she kept her calm and took a deep breath. "Alright. Fine, but if we have to stay here longer, you'll be dead on your knees when I'm done with you."

He grinned wolfishly. "I'll be waiting. Oh and by the way, whipped cream or chocolate sauce?"

The sorceress was momentarily befuddled for a moment before she hastily answered, "Uh…both."

"Excellent! You bring the handcuffs!" He said smoothly, standing up and looking at the opposite wall.

Raven opened her mouth to snap at him but a voice cut her off. "Ah! Finished I see?"

"Yep." Was Red-X's short reply as he waved the booklet in front of him, watching, mildly interested as it vanished and appeared later on in Mad Mod's hands.

The man grinned and flipped through it. "Brilliant children you are. I'll just go and check this. You can all be on your way now."

Both teens looked up at the man quizzically but he only brushed them off. "You heard right, you'll be sent back! But if I catch any wrong answers, you'll be seeing me again."

There was a sudden bright light and when they blinked and opened their eyes again, they appeared in a dark alleyway, all the Titans, including Titans East and a good number of the villains. There was no point in doing any arresting; no one had done anything wrong anyway.

Everyone was looking around confused and slightly dazed. "Hey, Raven! You ok?" Red-X groaned as he heard Boy Blunder's voice and saw him walking towards them.

Raven nodded, still slightly wobbly and unsure of what had just happened. "Y-yeah. I'm good. So…what did you have to do?"

The masked boy grimaced in distaste. "Maths with Kyd Wikkyd. It was kinda hard when the guy doesn't open his mouth to say anything."

Robin spotted Cyborg and Beast Boy and walked off to see if they were ok. "Can that guy get anymore annoying?"

The girl looked at him in amusement. "He's not annoying. Obsessive, but not annoying."

The masked thief scoffed. "He's a hero."

She was about to retort when she paused and replayed his words. " _I'm_ a hero!"

Caught in the headlights for a few seconds, the boy quickly put on his charming voice and said quickly, "You know what, he is obsessive! Let's hate him together, Babe."

Raven quirked her lips and almost laughed turning towards her former companion. "Well Red-X it was…fun?"

The boy snorted and nodded his head. "Sure. We should do it again sometime." He wiggled his brows suggestively but the girl only rolled her eyes.

"In your dreams." She muttered as she began to walk away, following Robin who had gone to talk to Starfire. _He'll never change._

"Great, I'll bring the whipped cream and chocolate sauce. See you tonight Babe." He called as she walked away, glancing back only to throw a small smirk his way.

The Titans walked away from the crowd of villains and heroes alike and shared their own experiences about their tests. A sudden thought came to her as she remembered her own exam and she turned to Robin, asking suddenly,

"Robin, what's a libido?"

The boys jumped and literally shrieked looking at her with wide eyes and faces as red as a tomato. Somewhere, she was vaguely aware of Red-X's infectious laughter throughout the night.

A/N: I don't know where this came from…I've just been in writing mode. I need to write…gah! It helps to get me over writer's block. SO! Did you guys notice something that I added from an add (no pun intended…) If you can guess which add, cookies to you! I guess it's not really romance…but if you squint…was Red-X out of character by any chance:D So…you like or you no like??? Please tell me in a REVIEW:D

Peace out!  
Rex


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